it's official!

italians scare me. it doesn't help that i've had the worst luck with all things italian but today, bright n' early i waltzed into my landlords deli and said i can't pay my rent. that's all there is to it. don't you sell enough pastromi to cover march? please sir? i realize you have the best cold cuts in all the land (or atleast greenpoint bk) but please. i know you speak maybe 6 words of english but please sir.

the next three days are going to be interesting.

ON TO BIGGER AND BETTER TAWWPIKZ

two days ago i discovered the best website of my life. stacey and i just love it. it's like the food networks "diner's, drive-ins and dives" but on steroids! http://www.thisiswhyyourefat.com/

if you're smart you'll check it. and proceed to make a twinkie deep-fried bacon-spam combination plate. covered in mayo.

to all my friends, this is what i want for my upcoming birthday.

NUMERO UNO: a trip to RICE TO RICHES! 25 rice pudding flavo(u)rs. (in america they don't use "u" in that word. weiiiiiiiiiiird.)

how to chose which flavor!

it's known to be the best money can buy and although it looks like monkey vomit i'm sure each and every flavor tastes more delicious than the next!

NUMERO DEUCE:

i stole this from a diffskis blog but i want. and need. i'm feeling so super canadian these days. they'd fit so nicely into my everyday defensive speeches as to why canadians reign supreme.

every american should invest in a pair.

NUMERO TWAAAH.

to make babies with this man. uhhhhhhhhh, not only is he a certified dime piece, but also talented beyond G.D belief. his only downfall; his name is also the name of my old piano teacher. i used to cry after every lesson because he'd cover my hands with a book when i'd look at them. i'll never forgive and forget john butler.